Marriage Books - For Guys?
Posted by MyChoices on 04/9/08 in Uncategorized
Come on, marriage books - for guys? Everyone knows that women love relationships and connecting with others is a natural gift for many wives. Women love to cuddle up with men and with a good book. But what about men? How do men learn about having a more satisfying, loving marriage relationship without going into years of therapy?
The best marriage advice and marital counseling are all based on the wisdom of others who have observed, studied and improved marriages over time. And some of the best marriage books are based on that research, observation and discoveries. As a husband or wife, you can create a happy, lasting marriage by tuning into some of this valuable information and applying it to your relationship.
What is encouraging is the number of new books published in 2007 from seasoned experts in the marriage relationship field. Take for instance, Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s new book, “Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage.” Dr. John Gottman has studied marriages in his “love lab” for more than 20 years by observing how people approach each other when they communicate. He has become so proficient at observing a couples interaction, he can tell within five minutes with 90 percent plus accuracy, whether a couple will get divorced eventually.
In his new book, Dr. Gottman tells the stories of ten different couples and the lessons you can learn without having to go through the school of hard knocks like they did. Chapters include lessons on overwork, affairs, lack of talking, being distant and irritable, no passion and more. The foundational book by the Gottmans is “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” which helps married couples understand and relate to each other in more loving ways.
If you have a Christian marriage, you may prefer the series of marriage relationship books by Gary Chapman. Dr. Chapman’s best selling work is The Five Love Languages, which shows five different ways that people perceive they are being loved and how they expect to be loved. Those five languages include: receiving gifts, acts of service, kind or encouraging words, quality time and physical touch. Every man and woman is different, so a husband’s desire for kind words contrasts with his wife’s desire to receive gifts. If you know what your partner wants, then by all means give him or her the love in the way he or she wants it.
The newest book by Dr. Chapman published in 2007 is “The Four Seasons of Marriage,” which describes the different seasons of marriage that husband and wives encounter during their lives. Let’s face it. Time marches on and things change, including people. Is your marriage in the Spring or Summer mode? Fall or winter? This book can help you find out. And, you can learn seven strategies to strengthen or improve your Christian marriage: dealing with past failures, choosing a winning attitude, learning to speak your spouse’s love language, using the power of empathic listening, experiencing the joy of helping your spouse succeed, maximizing, not minimizing your differences and implementing the power of positive influence.
Perhaps the best “tell it like it is” book is “Good Husband, Great Marriage” by Robert Mark Alter. Robert Alter has counseled marriage couples for more than 20 years and his discovery is that men are the ones who influence a marriage for good or bad. Not surprising, since men are not raised to relate in complementary ways. This book is written for guys by a guy who had to learn the hard way. He credits his wife Jane with teaching him how to love, honor and respect her as a person. This book is easy to read, has lots of humor and funny stories. Most of the chapters are only two or three pages long and include an action item at the end of the chapter. This is a must read for all men (and their wives) to live the marriage of their dreams.
To conclude, choosing the right marriage books can help you learn the easy way - from experienced and wise people who understand what it takes to live happily ever after. Make sure to start reading a marriage book today.
Dave Pipitone is a dedicated husband, celebrating 25 years of marriage to his wonderful wife Cheryl. Dave encourages other husbands to love, honor and respect their wives through reading and applying the wisdom of marriage books. Visit Dave’s website http:www.songofourmarriage.com.
Tags: christian marriage, husband, marriage, marriage advice, marriage books, marriage relationship, wife
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